Sleep anxiety

As a society we have HUGE sleep anxiety about our littles.

• Where to sleep

• How long to sleep

• When will they sleep through the night

• When to drop the nap....

In fact many parents spend a large portion of their day concerned that they are not doing it 'right'!

Here are some thoughts on your baby's sleep and a few small practical tips that can help.

Baby Sleep Patterns

Baby sleep patterns vary significantly by age. Newborns typically sleep 14-17 hours a day, often in short bursts. As they grow, their sleep consolidates into longer stretches. By six months, many babies can sleep for longer periods at night, but it’s normal for some to continue waking up.

I like to speak about something called 'sleep pressure' - this is what builds up through the day, ultimately leading to sleep at night. Unfortunately, babies sleep pressure builds so much quicker than us adults! So they need to nap regularly throughout the day, to knock the edge off that pressure, and get them through till bedtime!

How Long Should a Baby Sleep?

Babies need a lot of sleep, but the exact amount can vary. Trust that your baby knows how much sleep they need, even if it doesn't fit into your perfect schedule. This is where having a relaxed vision of sleep does you well - it doesnt matter if baby falls asleep at home in a bed, or out in the pram - he will wake up when he needs to and you can continue on with your day in the meantime.

Is My Baby Getting Enough Naps?

Regular naps are crucial for a baby’s development. However, the number and duration of naps can vary widely. Watch for signs of overtiredness, like fussiness or rubbing eyes, to gauge if your baby needs more rest. These naps needn't be at home, in the cot - they can be on the go, in the pram. As long as you give your baby the apportunity to nap when they need to. You also don't need to monitor the length of these naps.

When Will My Baby Sleep Through the Night?

What even is sleeping through the night?? Some say it's as little as 5 hours, although some may think it is 10-12 hours. I would challenge you to think - do you sleep through the night? Waking at night is normal, most of us just don't realise we do it, as we are good at rolling over and going back to sleep. Babies often need help to get back to sleep - this is developmental. They will learn how to get themselves back off to sleep when they wake eventually, and no amount of encouragement is necessarily going to change that!

What if My Baby Wakes Up Frequently?

Frequent night waking is common, especially in the early months. Factors like hunger, teething, needing reassurance, or developmental leaps can disrupt sleep. This phase is temporary, and with time, babies begin to sleep for longer stretches.

Impact of Sleep Anxiety on Parents

Worrying about your baby’s sleep can lead to significant stress and anxiety. This stress can affect your mental health, leading to feelings of frustration and exhaustion. It can also impact your relationship with your baby, as anxiety can make it harder to respond calmly and effectively to their needs. It's ok to reassess and go with the flow of what your baby is doing now, rather than fighting to get to something that is better for you.

Things you can do:

Realistic Expectations: Understand that baby sleep patterns are inherently irregular. Accepting this can help reduce anxiety. Routines may not do anything to help, and can make you feel more guilty when they are not working.

Creating a vague routine: Having said the above, establishing a bedtime routine can be reassuring to your baby. They get to know what is going to happen and it can signal to them that it's time to sleep, which may help them settle more easily over time. But this does not need to be an elaborate routine - simply having the same music on in the evening, or always brushing teeth before bed can help. It's good to have about 3 things that you always do in the lead up to bedtime.

Promote a Sleep-Friendly Environment: Ensure the baby's sleep area is quiet, dark, and cool. No screens in the sleep area.

Self-Care for Parents: Don’t neglect your well-being. Try to rest when your baby sleeps and seek support from family or friends if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

When to Seek Professional Help

If your baby’s sleep patterns are causing significant anxiety or you notice signs of sleep disorders (such as extreme difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep), it may be helpful to consult someone. Professional guidance can provide tailored strategies to improve sleep for both you and your baby, or discover if there is a genuine issue.

It’s natural to worry about your baby’s sleep, but remember that variations in sleep patterns are normal. By setting realistic expectations (low ones!) and implementing practical strategies, you can manage your anxiety and support your baby’s healthy sleep habits.

If you'd like to have a chat about your little one's sleep please reach out. Amy x

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